xtanitx: (bitch please)
xtanitx ([personal profile] xtanitx) wrote2011-07-11 04:27 pm

Seriously, you guys. You guys, seriously!

I've started reading Eric/Sookie fan fic (not because I ship them like burning or anything, mostly I'm just here for the pr0ns and I'd rather read Eric/Sookie than Bill/Sookie because Foghorn Leghorn sex IS NOT SEXY) but I keep running into the same problem. Namely, Eric using "lover" as a (questionable) term of endearment or as some sort of show of how AMAZINGLY sexual a creature Eric is. Which, uh, it's totally not. I'm not the only one who thinks this, right? Like, now all I can see in my head is a True Blood version of SNL's "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" (starring Eric & Bill... Take a moment to picture that in your head. - - - - - - - - - - - You're welcome.) trying to pick up the ladies with lame lines that end in "lover." And that ruins my porn reading. (Not really.)

Is this a character flaw trait from the books, does anyone know? If yes, consider the following a brief open letter.

Dear Charlaine Harris:

Having Eric call Sookie "lover" is not nearly as seductive as I think you think it is. Please make him stop saying it. It genuinely calls into question the assertion that Eric is supposed to be sex on legs. Because when he says that, he's totally not. I'm just sayin'.

Sincerely,

Everyone (by which I mean
me, so you know, not really worth much as opinions go. But still. Think about it. Please?)

Also: hello, f-list! I'll try not to suck so much about participating here on the elljays.

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